Celebration of life remarks Delivered by CR Pres. Betsy McCoy at Funeral of Fr. Felix

I met Fr. Felix 21 years ago when I came to India at the invitation of Fr. Ben. Fr. Ben was the chaplain at our local hospital in America. My two oldest sons had already been working with his organization in India during high school and encouraged me to come. They promised I would love it here. 

When I came out of the airport that first time, Fr. Felix garlanded me and welcomed me to India. I’ve now been here over 50 times in the past 21 years. Clearly, my sons were right - I do love it here. Each and every time, until he was too sick to come, Fr. Felix welcomed me at the airport when I arrived and came to wish me a safe journey when I left. I will dearly miss his smiling face at the Chennai airport. 

These past few days have been a time of terrible sadness and heartbreak for all of us. There have been and will continue to be, many tears. But I have learned that it’s important during these times to also celebrate the life of the person we lost. So I’ve planned my remarks to be a celebration of the life of Fr. Albert Felix who touched our hearts and enriched our lives in so many different ways. 

Fr. Felix and I shared a love of children - I have 6 and he has hundreds. We believed strongly in the importance of a quality education for all - girls as well as boys, the disenfranchised, and especially the poor. 16 years ago we started Communities Rising with a single after school program for 45 students in Periyathachoor. By last year, we were teaching almost 2000 students in 25 diocesan schools. We were also teaching about 400 students in our after school program and another 500 students in our Lego Robotics program. We have helped to put over 100 students through college. Fr. Felix was the behind the scenes facilitator. He made whatever calls were necessary to line up the schools and to keep things running. I raise the funds, develop the programs, and train the staff. Nelson, Rahul, and Siva kept everything running smoothly, especially when I’m not here. 

Fr. Felix and I had different skill sets. He identified the need or the problem and expected me to find the money to solve the problem. When our phone calls ended with him saying - “I visited a family today that needs some help” or “this school needs _____ - I knew it was time for me to get to work. 

He was one of the very few parish priests I have met, who believed that parish schools are the key to the future of the parish and the church and he acted upon it. The best example of his beliefs is St. Xavier’s school. When he was assigned to St. Xavier’s, his first order of business was to renovate the school. He added classrooms, and painted and repaired everything. We were able to get an excellent grant that covered much of the work. At the same time, he made it clear that it was a parish school and should be supported by the parish. They did. Next he added a kindergarten, believing that if the students came at age 4, they would stay and enroll in the primary school. He was right. Today, St. Xavier’s is one of the few schools in the diocese, whose enrollment is not declining. He also realized that a quality education requires more than just walls and paint. He made sure that the school was enrolled in CR’s Accelerated Learning program. He visited the school often, talking to the students and supporting the teachers. St. Xavier’s continues to be one of CR’s top performing schools. I kindly recommend that those of you with parish schools - think about the example he set and do your best to follow it. 

In addition to his dedication to the children of his parishes, he welcomed everyone from all walks of life and tried to meet their needs. At his first parish of Azhagappasamuthiram, he built a school and was instrumental in making sure that 100% of the students advanced to 9th standard. He was dedicated to the hostel boys at Anilady and provided them with desks for their study hall. At SAMSSS, he welcomed the gypsies to the campus and sheltered them for weeks when they were flooded during Thane. He was instrumental in helping Kavitha, a double amputee, with getting an education from primary school through college and helping her to get prosthetics. He helped to educate countless boys and girls and helped raise several orphans. He took in Seenu at the age of 7 when his grandmother couldn’t care for him anymore. Seenu is now 25 and works for CR. Susin came to CR’s house when he was 9. He is now 21 and is finishing his final year at Loyola in Chennai Fr. Felix was especially supportive of young people like Rahul who lost their parents at an early age. He was also very aware of the difficulties families had raising twins, and started helping Nelson and Sathish when they were very young. 

Nelson, Sathish and Seenu have been by his side every day of these past 2.5 years since his cancer diagnosis. At an early age they have now experienced the circle of life, and learned how many of us grow up and take care of the person who once took care of us. Without their help, love and devotion Fr. Felix would never have made it this long. He truly loved and appreciated each of them, as do I. 

I do not claim to have any expertise in who qualifies as a “holy” person. However, I do think I have some understanding of who is a good person. Fr. Felix was the best example I know of a truly “good” person. He was kind to everyone, unfailingly generous, slow to anger, and quick to forgive. I can honestly say that in the 21 years I knew him, he never said an unkind word about anyone. Not ever. It’s a rare quality and one that I do not possess. He would listen when I vented my frustration with various people - including some of you sitting in this church today. He would say that he understood why I felt that way, but nothing else. Frankly, I found it maddening, but I admired him for it. 

He taught me how to really see people and how to identify their needs. He also taught me to give more than I ever thought possible. I learned that there is always something we can do to help. We just have to figure out how. CR would never have been able to accomplish all that we have done without his constant help and support. 

His assistance during the Pandemic was invaluable. Through his efforts, we were able to vaccinate 35,000 people, feed 10,000 families, and provide over 50,000 meals for the homeless. Even when he was struggling with his cancer this past year, he was excited to help with our relief efforts during the cyclone. He quickly identified those in need of help near the Shrine and participated in handing out relief. He said it made him feel like he was really doing something worthwhile for one of the few times since he got sick. 

I’d like to thank the Archbishop for letting me speak today. I learned it is not a common practice here as it is in the US. I would also like to thank him for the tremendous financial support that he provided to Fr., especially this last year. Additionally, I want to thank Fr. Philomendas for transferring funds as needed and for giving me a place to stay last night. Medicine can do amazing things. But it has become outrageously expensive. The Archbishop could have chosen a less expensive treatment but decided to go with the treatment that gave Fr. Felix a better chance despite the cost. Throughout his illness, Fr.’s biggest worry was the financial burden he was placing on the Diocese, his family, and me. But he was also not ready to give up the fight. He wanted to keep trying. Sadly, his body had enough. 

I would also like to thank Fr.’s family for their love and ongoing support and for agreeing to postpone today’s funeral until I could get here. He was so proud of his family and loved all of you dearly. 

I was just here in June and was planning to return again in October. But each time I talked with him I knew he was losing ground, and I kept moving my trip up. Just last week, I told him I’d be here next week. When Nelson and Sathish called and told me that he wasn’t doing well and they were admitting him to the hospital, I made my plane reservations for the next morning. Unfortunately, it wasn’t fast enough for me to see him alive one more time. 

I’d like to close my remarks with an Irish prayer. I realize this is India but I’m Irish, and Fr. Felix always enjoyed learning about other cultures. 

May the road rise up to meet you 

May the wind be always at your back 

May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall softly upon your fields 

Until we meet again my dear friend - may God hold you in the palm of His hand.